I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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