I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Randomize
