No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize