normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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