We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
