and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
