just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
