the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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