What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize