You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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