the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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