i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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