New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
