Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
