So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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