I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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