So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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