he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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