i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
