After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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