u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize