I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
