u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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