HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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