So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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