I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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