do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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