At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
40s are totally the cure
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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