the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We got so high we made milksteak
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
