thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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