OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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