what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
handjob tips. give me some.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
