I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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