Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
