I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
