tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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