Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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