Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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