You're a womanizer and a bitch.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
