i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize