Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
