i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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