no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
zippers are such a cool invention
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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