I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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