yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
