Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
