im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
being pregnant is like rehab
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He has the fingertips of a God
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