My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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