I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
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Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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