How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
