Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
