I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
