mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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