This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
