the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
