My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
