Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
