Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Mom said you looked used
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
