So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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