i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
