he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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