these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
