just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
