That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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