What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
