I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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