then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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