Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
