I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
