what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Randomize
