It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
